I’m just looking for someone to eat garbage floor cake with.
bbc03undercover
I love everything about this story.
Alan Alda is my spirit animal (and quite possibly my patronus)
That’s hilarious and adorable.
“The hostess of the evening had made a rum cake, and she put it on the refrigerator to cool,” Alda recalled. “The refrigerator shook, and the cake fell off the refrigerator and hit the floor.”
It was a party moment that separated the casual diners from those desperate for dessert. “Arlene and I were the only two people who went in with spoons and ate it off the floor,” he said with a smile. “That’s how you know. When two people eat a cake off the floor, that’s it for life.”
There’s no arguing that point. In fact, Alda seems certain today’s daters could learn a thing or two from him and Arlene.
“All this matchmaking on the Internet, and they ask them questions — just toss a cake on the floor and see who goes for it,” he suggested.
this post single-handedly fixed my evening and cleared my pores.
How she make twerking look so elegant
^ her culture. that’s why.
on anon tell me if I give off angel, demon, vampire or witch vibes
Why don’t you go listen to the over the garden wall soundtrack and take a walk in the woods and maybe you’ll feel better
doubt, vulnerability, self-consciousness. chest pain.
“I’m not here to speak, I’m sure as fuck not here to lecture anybody, but I will tell you what I have seen. And I have seen what happens when people organize, and I have seen what happens when the electorate and the citizenry know themselves and the sleeping dragon that they are, and I know what happens when they act and they act directly. I also know what happens when old pious men make laws about what women should and shouldn’t do. I know this ‘cause I’ve seen direct action from the very state that I hail from, the nation state which was created 100 years ago. And what I would say also, is just to remember where power lies and remind politicians where power lies, ‘cause the biggest thing they fear is losing their fucking jobs. And to men, also: just be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because that same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you. Just remember where power is, just remember what the electorate can do.”
Be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because the same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you.
i’m done hearing about small pores, i’m done hearing about smooth legs, i’m done hearing about frizzy hair, about under eye bags, about dull skin, short eyelashes, waistlines... how many more years can women take this constant scrutiny? from ads on public transportation, sponsored posts on social media, tabloid covers in the checkout lines, our subconscious minds are regularly noting all these subtle accusations that we are falling short of our duty to the world to be attractive. i can’t even sit in my own goddamn home by myself and watch tv without some corporation trying to make bank by paying an unnaturally pretty model to practically laugh into the camera and point out another imperfection of mine. i’m tired and i’d like to go just one day without being reminded that i’m on display
“You’ve had a rough time. Better eat some more.”
— Haku to Chihiro in “Spirited Away” aka my life motto
someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i’m 5 years old
Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)
Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.
Tu B'Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.
Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!
Tisha B'Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.
Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.
Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)
Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.
Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.
Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?
Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.
Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!
So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.
Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”
thank you for the desc’s bcs they are beautiful and i am now educated
freud: EVERY dude wants to fuck his mom and and EVERY girl wants to fuck her dad and also wants to be a man secretly
men: WOW!!!!!!!!!
“In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood incest victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest. Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology. According to this theory any young girl actually desires sexual contact with her father, because she wants to compete with her mother to be the most special person in his life. Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of incestuous abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for when they were children and that the women had come to believe were real. This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men.”
— Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME
